Well, I’m definitely thinking about language and culture these days. Right now, it’s titles and ranks. These came up in a conversation I had recently. There is already a plethora of stuff written about how they are used incorrectly. On one level that makes sense to me. I find the western misuse of Japanese terminology endlessly frustrating. Honestly, it is pretty simple. In Japan and Okinawa one never refers to oneself using a title. You don’t say “Hi, I’m Bob sensei”, you say “Hi, I’m Bob.” And even the highest ranked teachers are called “sensei” when you are speaking to them (just like a school teacher or your GP), not hanshi, or shihan, or any other title. Sempai cannot be used as a title or rank, because one person’s sempai is another’s kohai. (At the same time, in the same conversation…) But these simple linguistic concepts get, or got, changed pretty quickly in their transition to the west. Some groups now refer to seniors with titles like kyoshi or renshi instead of sensei. I see sempai written on belts or used as a title. And don’t get me started on soke. At times it makes me, and people I know who have also lived in Japan, a little batty.¹

But why? So what? They are just words. And when I look closer, the only people that seem really invested in this are westerners who have lived in Japan for an extended period of time. Even many of the Okinawan teachers I know see how their western students use the terms and while they may laugh a little about it they don’t really seem to care. And I certainly know people who have been traveling to Okinawa or Japan for decades who use the terms very differently to how they are used in their native context but suffer no conflicts or consequences. So why is there an issue?

For a couple of reasons, I think. The first is simple: it is incorrect. To give some context, it sounds a little like someone saying “Hello Mr. Master’s Degree Frederick” to me. Really weird. The second is the way in which it is wrong. In Japanese it would sound arrogant (and a little insecure). Think “that’s right, I am more important than all of you and you better know your place” arrogant if you are using it about yourself, like “I’m Bob sensei”. And saying something like “good morning xxx hanshi” to someone, either comes off as sarcastic, implying you don’t think they deserve the rank, or it implies that the person you are speaking to is quite arrogant and demands being called by his or her titles and you are calling them out on that. Either way it is pretty much an insult. So I’d think that if you were really trying to show respect and be a part of an activity rooted in another culture you would want to get it right.

And yet….  I have friends and acquaintances who have spent a lot of time in Okinawa. They use titles in a variety of ways, depending on the American (or Canadian) groups they belong to. When they are in Okinawa however their teachers and fellow students never get upset about mis-used vocabulary or word choices that can come across as rude. Why not? Because it is really clear things are not meant that way. As the Okinawans are well aware they cannot speak English they recognize the effort. They see the desire to demonstrate respect and friendship, and to give credit to the teacher, the art, and the culture. Mistakes are not nearly as important as the spirit behind them.

But things are different when you are living in the culture. Okinawa is unusual, because you can conceivably live there for years and not really have to speak Japanese or Uchinaguchi much. But in virtually all the rest of the country if you are living and working there you live and work in Japanese. And while it can be over-stated, it is an in-group culture and a fairly formal one. There is a difference between someone visiting and someone who has taken on the responsibilities of an adult. If you have taken on these responsibilities not only is your intention important, your competency is as well. If you are in, you have to abide by the rules. That means understanding how to be polite and acting accordingly.

This is in part because your public behavior represents the group, whether you want it to or not. The costs for failing can at times be severe- ostracism and disrespect among them. There can also be consequences for any group you belong to; whether you think it is fair or not your behavior will reflect on those around you and they may pay a price for your actions, just as you may pay a price for theirs. That set of expectations carries across multiple areas of your life: work, the dojo, and friendships. The better your language and cultural skills get, and the closer your relationships get, the stronger the expectations get. This isn’t to say it is a harsh culture. My experience is the exact opposite. But there are expectations around following basic rules of conduct, just as there are here.

So after living in the culture for an extended period you wind up internalizing this, both because it is a part of your daily life and because most people want to be polite. And then when you hear things done incorrectly it really stands out. (In part because it can then reflect back on you, even if your only connection is that you are both gaijin.) That’s not surprising. If I were to hear someone say “Hello Mr. Master’s Degree Frederick” to me here I’d definitely wonder. Especially if that person had been involved in an American art form, say bluegrass banjo playing, for years and traveled here many times to study it. And even if my (hypothetical banjo player) business card were to have my degrees on it it’s clear we don’t say them when speaking to someone. It only takes a couple of first meetings to learn the “nice to meet you Mr. xxx” portion of a conversation. I’d wonder why they didn’t care enough to learn how to address people, or if they were too stupid to get it.

I’ve sat in dojo in Kagoshima and Okinawa with my teachers and guests who spoke very little Japanese. I’ve sat at work with new arrivals and my bosses. And in both situations I’ve seen the guests getting honest praise, repeated later when they were not around, for their use of the language while then being criticized myself for mistakes in gradients of formality between different members of the group. I’ve also been given a dressing down for other foreigners making mistakes- the fault was mine not theirs because I knew what was appropriate and they didn’t; even if they were refusing correction not being able to get them to accept it and be polite was my responsibility, though I had no authority over them. The expectations were just different.

It can be crazy-making! Why can she, whom you see every year or two but can’t discuss political economy with, get a pass on calling you a moron by mistake while you give me, who is here every week, cleaning the dojo, going to the enkai, and talking with you about how to deal with your chronically late employee, a dressing down for mixing up formal verb tenses when drunk? Shouldn’t everyone have to get it right? Especially when it has been made clear getting it wrong is disrespectful?  And why is their behavior my responsibility? Why do the actions of people I don’t even know reflect on me? For folks who have lived and worked in the culture this can result in some stress that comes out when non-Japanese use things like titles and such inappropriately. And if the locals don’t take any offense at visitors misusing their titles, I guess it doesn’t really matter and we should get over it. But having some responsibility, unwanted I assure you, for the actions of others whom I have no control over has reminded me of one thing: usually they are being let off the hook because they aren’t thought of as being fully on the team. They are not being treated as a responsible adult.

So while it is nice getting let off the hook, and comfortable (and cool?) creating your own traditions around titles, you might want to think about what that means, for you and for your group. You don’t have to get it right, but making the same mistakes over and over tells people that you don’t really care, or just don’t understand (or think your version is equally or more valid than the native one). And if they are letting you off the hook it may indicate a background assumption you are not really equals. Is that what you want? To be assumed to be less than? And really, there is no excuse. The butchering of Japanese titles here is a pretty poor showing. But no worse than this sign, so I guess it goes both ways. Can’t imagine that place getting much business in Boston though.  I know I’d go somewhere else.

1 I actually think this is in part due to the military background of so many of the first generations of Japanese martial arts instructors in the US. In the military a captain is a captain, a private is a private. Rank is not conditional. But in the dojo, a sempai is sometimes a kohai, and your sensei might be someone else’s kohai. it all depends on who you are talking to. That’s pretty different.